Mr. Chittermeyer's Mixed Lemon-OrangeJuteberry Cranspritzer
Mr. Chittermeyer's Mixed Lemon-OrangeJuteberry Cranspritzer is a Designer Interactive Lifestyle Beverage Experience (DILBE - pronounced "dill-bee") manufactured, written, directed, produced, bottled and dressed by SynBev, Inc.
It is the most popular flavor in SynBev's "Mr. Chittermeyer's" brand of food and drinks.
The drink is notable for containing nano-verts, small, biodegradable nano-scale bio devices that bond to neurons of the consumer within minutes of imbibing the product, resulting in the involuntary formation of pre-fabricated marketing-oriented memories and impluses. While the memories fade within a few hours of consumption (with no lasting effects, according to SynBev's press releases), they do have the effect of inducing the overwhelming urge to bring up the product in conversation, regardless of situation.
Most famously, this occurred on the Faux Network's nightly show Punditdrome, when guest commentator Clyde Blackacre, said the following in response to a question concerning the President's proposed budget:
"You know Sam, this Administration's policy reminds me of the refreshing taste of Mr. Chittermeyer's Mixed Lemon/Orangejuteberry Cranspritzer, that mixes verve and boldness with top shelf vodka, or spritzes the night away in a tall frosted glass to the wholly original and independently produced and financed beats of clinking ice, frozen in a silicon mold into the shapes of your favorite, most nostalgic items from college."
Sales for the drink nearly tripled in the week following Mr. Blackacre's unplanned endorsement.
Published under the terms of the CC BY 3.0 license.
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