Scuba Police
The Scuba Police are an aquatic law enforcement organization found in many nations around the world. While most civilized nations have historically had some sort of underwater police force, the development of Scuba Police is unique to territories with a high water-to-land-mass ratio; specifically in the form of deep-water oceans (the Scuba Police of Lake Baikal are one notable exception).
History
The Bahamas are proud to claim the oldest force, founded in 1653 with one underwater sheriff in a diving bell. While technically not a “scuba” force, this initial foray into underwater law enforcement was the genesis of the modern-day scuba officer, and the direct ancestor of the present Bahamanian force, one of the most advanced in the world. The black triangle on the nation’s flag 1 references the sheriff’s diving bell, while on the national crest 2, he is hiding directly behind the flamingo. Scuba police forces developed along with scuba gear technology, but their heyday was arguably during the Cold War, when elite NATO and Soviet regiments sparred in the Bering Strait, in flooded Vietcong tunnels, and in a moat deep beneath the Berlin wall.
Primary Duties
In addition to his traditional duties combating fish forgery, deep sea espionage, and submarine parking violations, the modern-day scuba policeman is deeply involved in environmental regulation enforcement. Such work remains a controversial topic, especially among older officers, who see it as less exciting and honorable than traditional law enforcement, with many fewer opportunities to use their spear gun.
Equipment, Standard Procedure, and Regional Distinctions
Scuba Police wear a variant of a civilian wetsuit (drysuit in colder climes), ruggedized for military use. Various belt-loops and pockets have been added to the design to accommodate standard equipment, such as:
- The Trident, a general purpose tool not mainly used for defense
- A spear gun, the Scuba Police Officer’s primary weapon against hostile sea life; also useful for acquiring a quick lunch on the go
- Parking violation and record books
- Marine life identification picture guides
- Seahorse treats
Of course, given the water-rich environment of an officer’s beat, all written materials must be printed on plastic, puffy books, similar to those made for children’s bathtime.
Although corps of Seahorse Mounties still exist, most modern-day Scuba Police travel via James Bond jetpak. Mounted regiments are maintained primarily for ceremonial duties, and, especially in densely populated areas, for their usefulness in crowd control. Attempts to adapt the http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:SMB3-gameplay.gif Mario Frogsuit have met both legal and practical obstacles; while the suit provides remarkable agility and comfort, something about the design remains a magnet for squid and voracious flying fish, who have been known to swallow suit-testers whole.
Notable Exploits
Training Programs
The Scuba Police in Pop Culture
In addition to the notoriety gained by the eponymous band, actual Scuba Policemen have been featured in many capacities in the above-water world. Some well known examples include:
- The Borneo force's annual underwater Christmas concert benefiting oyster spats orphaned by the pearl harvest
- Law and Order: Marine Mammal Unit
- The brief neoprene fashion craze of the late 1970’s
- The Green Diving Helmets, a 1968 film dramatizing the exploits of Vietnam-era Scuba Police
Published under the terms of the CC BY 3.0 license.