Carnivorous Snail

Carnivorous snails (Helix carnivorus), found throughout Oakland, CA, are considered a manifestation of The Weirdness.

Origins

Helix carnivorus are descended from the Helix pomatia snails introduced to California by Jean-Marie Pasvitesse and Marcel de Lentepied, French immigrants hoping to make their fortunes as escargot ranchers. Sadly, their unfamiliarity with their new land presented obstacles they could not overcome and the nascent industry failed in its first year, following the Oakland-to-Abilene Snail Drive Debacle. Distraught over his crushed dreams, saddened and oppressed by a sense of responsibility for the death of his lifelong friend Lentepied, and angry over his inability to obtain any decent French wine with which to drown his sorrows, Pasvitesse set free the remaining breeding stock, sold all his remaining possessions, and began walking north, vowing not to stop until he heard French again. Attempts to direct him in a northeasterly direction toward Quebec were angrily resisted, and Pasvitesse was last seen attempting to ford the Russian River. No traces of him have ever been found.

Life Cycle

It is unfortunate that Pasvitesse and Lentepied chose Oakland as the location of their escargot endeavors. Scientists and cryptozoologists believe that exposure to The Weirdness is responsible for the mutation that changed the freed pomatia breeding stock to carnivorus.

Helix carnivorus has a three-stage life cycle. Hatched in the early spring, its habits during the first stage are like any other garden snail; it prefers cool, dark places and comes out at night to feed on plant matter.

At around six months of age, when a snail's shell is the size of a jumbo egg, the snail pulls back into the shell and seals off the entrance. It hibernates for a week to nine days, then reemerges. Hungry from its period of hibernation, it eats ravenously; at this stage of life, its preferred food is the always-plentiful Stage 1 Helix carnivorus, but a Stage 2 snail will gladly eat other Stage 2 snails. Additionally, a Stage 2 snail can strip a backyard vegetable garden overnight if no younger snails are available. For this reason, Oakland gardeners go snailpicking diligently every night to try to deal with them while they're still in Stage 1.

At about a year and a half of age, when the snail's shell is the size of a human fist, it crawls up a tree, finds a sheltered spot, and once again retreats into its shell for a week-long hibernation period. When it reemerges as a Stage 3 snail, it has lost the ability to digest vegetable matter. Now an obligate carnivore, it will feed on Stage 1 and Stage 2 snails, but prefers to feed upon baby birds, baby squirrels, and roadkill.

The favorite food of Helix carnivorus is graftopi. Since graftopi move so much faster than snails, however, the snails must rely on others to kill the graftopi for them. For this reason, they are often found near Lake Merritt, the Estuary, and other places Gig Herons are common, as well as in parks favored by squid gigging teams.

Category:Mystical Oakland

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